These days
"...How does he laugh? How does he cry? What's the color of his eyes? Does he even realize I'm here? Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy? Who is he? Who is he? Who's gonna take me so high?" – Where are you? By J. Roman feat. Soluna
I had very interesting conversations last night or rather this morning in yahoo messenger.
Have you ever felt that your respect for someone has lessened because you've heard something that they did or didn't do? I've been thinking that maybe I'm putting my trust on people too much, when in truth they shouldn't be trusted at all. Okay, that's harsh. I mean, that they shouldn't be trusted wholeheartedly. I mean, yes Rica, you're right, sometimes, I am really tired of putting up these defenses. I've had encounters with trust that didn't go well and to be always on guard is tiring that sometimes when you have the feel of a person, you immediately trust them enough to feel secure that putting down your defenses would be the right action. Of course, there are the selective people who I really trust. They have been tried and tested. Hehe, kidding. It's not that I'm apathetic that I just let everything pass by me. I simply don't do anything because I neither have the right to interfere nor to force my own decisions. Simply put: not my life, butt out.
I really hope you guys resolve your problem. Just give it some time. Maybe she really is busy. Of course that doesn't give her an excuse to ignore you. Believe me, I'll feel the same way when ignored. Flashback: Aila. But of course, yours is different, long distance eh. Just remember, don't give up on your relationship. There would always be a way.
Yesterday was really an interesting day. We went to church in our subdivision, and I didn't even know what the gospel was all about. (body issues, just skip it if you will) My mind was wandering the whole time. I realized how out of shape I was. I'm too slim and nothing I do adds to my weight. That's a good thing; it means I have a fast metabolism, but sometimes, it is just outright ridiculous to purge and not see the needle in the scale rise. If my eyes haven't deceived me, I lost 2 pounds. -_- And yet, sometimes, I find myself looking in the mirror and complaining how my stomach doesn't seem to get smaller. *ducks a tomato thrown at her* I'm serious, but I guess these are just insecurities rising up. I should be happy with myself, accept everything, faults and all. I miss volleyball. Not only do I get exhilarated when playing the sport, it also tones down my body. Haha. What's left of it anyway. I saw my thighs slimmed down. Pants that are usually tight around the thigh area are now loose. I love those thighs. They were firm, and now they're gone. Not to mention my ass. It did become smaller. Those miniskirts I avoided wearing before, I could now wear because the material doesn't rise that much when I stand up. I guess all the walking to and fro the university is the one to blame here.
Speaking of walking to and fro the school, I am now spending P10 more than what is necessary. I usually walk from the apartment to the stairs. Let's say that's my morning exercise. Lately however, this guy, who hangs around in front of our gate in the mornings (and in the afternoons too) has been hailing trikes for me to ride. It's rude to decline so I ride, and I'm sure that it is from his good intentions, but still. Sometimes it's good though because it's really disconcerting to walk and feel people's eyes on you. *shivers*
Anyway, I was wrong. My dad left yesterday, not today. I knew I heard 29, but I guess I need to have my ears checked. I helped him pack until the last minute. Then we brought him to the airport. I think my mom sensed how unhappy I was or how unhappy I would be so she said that we would go to Makati after. Despite the fact that my dad was leaving, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of joy. Bad, I know. We ate merienda and the Chocolate Oreo Cheesecake in McCafe is not that mouth-watering. Looks can be really deceiving. My mom and uncle went on their own, and so did I. I saw these lovely pants from People are People. They were those that flow around your legs. As beautiful and perfect it seemed, it was, unfortunately loose. :( Made me feel annoyed again at my body. Then I went to a few stores here and there. A new shop opened. Flip-flops. That's the name and it's true. Flip flops heaven. It opened yesterday and they had to put this barrier to stop people from entering because their place was small to accommodate the number of people, mostly girls who were excited to go and empty their wallets.
I do not claim to have a great fashion sense. Far from it. I wear what I'm comfortable with. There are only times that I exchange looks with comfort. Anyway, I saw AC people again. Topshop seems to be a meeting place for AC peeps. Haha! ^_^ I saw Mela (StD) and Christine. It's funny. It's like we're all independent now, which is the case I guess. It's like before, we're tagging along our moms after class to go to the mall and shop. Now, we're on our own, shopping on our own. All I need now is my very own credit card. Haha!
Rica and I were both reminiscing last night. Our conversations ranged from her problems to sexuality to my problems to games to kraci outings to birthdays to drinking to hyperness to music to food to gigs to lines until we started to reminisce things. Haha. English lit. Macbeth. Ms. Acero. Les Mis. Pintasayawit. Rica's evil look as she says her lines. Lady Macbeth's unsex me here" line that me got the "Most Lady Macbeth-ish" award. CR incident. Jealous girls. Baon. Siomai. Flavored water. Bugz and Angel's jelly tongue. Frozen chocolate, frozen mango and frozen ice tea. Strawberry shake. Jamaican patty. Mango crepe. Fruit shakes. The bread with pesto and cheese filling inside and tomato sauce that they sell during intrams and fairs. Eat in the canteen. Fooling around. Running around the oval. Playing at the patch of grass. Skyway. Tambay on the benches. Tambay sa school bus. Bean bag. Coffee house. Skyflakes that find their way around the classroom. Tempura. Tonkatsu. Peanuts. Popcorn. Cheese sticks. Yellow cab and McDo deliveries during practices. Puto and kutchinta in the brown paper bag. Sashimi of Wei. Sta's porkchop baon. My lemon squares daw. Rica's chicken popcorn with Caesar dressing. Chess and her canteen food. Angel's dessert trips with Ruby and Lum. PDA moments. Haha! Munchkins and donuts after class. Taho and dirty ice cream sa gate 3. Manang guard na tinatakasan. Snowcone (?). Free milo and Assumption tarts. Takas during practices. Mrs. Eala's fury. After-practice incident. Bataille. Rica's tough battle. Me and my long nails. 3 against 1. The triumvirate. Morning assembles. MPH. Late. Cold computer room. New chairs. New pcs. Angel's hanger. Computer teachers who let us do illegal stuff and those who shout. Feeling music teachers and the Herculean woman. Dami pala.
Three's a crowd. I think that phrase says it all. It's funny how one thinks they're the third wheel, while the other people also think that way. Haha!
I cleaned my room when I arrived at the apartment. I just organized all the handouts I had. In a few months time, I would be compiling them again as the first semester ends. But I don't want this sem to end, not yet. But what am I saying? We're still in the middle of the sem; no need to rush.
"...When you close your eyes do you like what you see inside your mind? And do you like to dream about the stars above once in a while?" - Once in a while by Dishwalla
I had very interesting conversations last night or rather this morning in yahoo messenger.
Have you ever felt that your respect for someone has lessened because you've heard something that they did or didn't do? I've been thinking that maybe I'm putting my trust on people too much, when in truth they shouldn't be trusted at all. Okay, that's harsh. I mean, that they shouldn't be trusted wholeheartedly. I mean, yes Rica, you're right, sometimes, I am really tired of putting up these defenses. I've had encounters with trust that didn't go well and to be always on guard is tiring that sometimes when you have the feel of a person, you immediately trust them enough to feel secure that putting down your defenses would be the right action. Of course, there are the selective people who I really trust. They have been tried and tested. Hehe, kidding. It's not that I'm apathetic that I just let everything pass by me. I simply don't do anything because I neither have the right to interfere nor to force my own decisions. Simply put: not my life, butt out.
I really hope you guys resolve your problem. Just give it some time. Maybe she really is busy. Of course that doesn't give her an excuse to ignore you. Believe me, I'll feel the same way when ignored. Flashback: Aila. But of course, yours is different, long distance eh. Just remember, don't give up on your relationship. There would always be a way.
Yesterday was really an interesting day. We went to church in our subdivision, and I didn't even know what the gospel was all about. (body issues, just skip it if you will) My mind was wandering the whole time. I realized how out of shape I was. I'm too slim and nothing I do adds to my weight. That's a good thing; it means I have a fast metabolism, but sometimes, it is just outright ridiculous to purge and not see the needle in the scale rise. If my eyes haven't deceived me, I lost 2 pounds. -_- And yet, sometimes, I find myself looking in the mirror and complaining how my stomach doesn't seem to get smaller. *ducks a tomato thrown at her* I'm serious, but I guess these are just insecurities rising up. I should be happy with myself, accept everything, faults and all. I miss volleyball. Not only do I get exhilarated when playing the sport, it also tones down my body. Haha. What's left of it anyway. I saw my thighs slimmed down. Pants that are usually tight around the thigh area are now loose. I love those thighs. They were firm, and now they're gone. Not to mention my ass. It did become smaller. Those miniskirts I avoided wearing before, I could now wear because the material doesn't rise that much when I stand up. I guess all the walking to and fro the university is the one to blame here.
Speaking of walking to and fro the school, I am now spending P10 more than what is necessary. I usually walk from the apartment to the stairs. Let's say that's my morning exercise. Lately however, this guy, who hangs around in front of our gate in the mornings (and in the afternoons too) has been hailing trikes for me to ride. It's rude to decline so I ride, and I'm sure that it is from his good intentions, but still. Sometimes it's good though because it's really disconcerting to walk and feel people's eyes on you. *shivers*
Anyway, I was wrong. My dad left yesterday, not today. I knew I heard 29, but I guess I need to have my ears checked. I helped him pack until the last minute. Then we brought him to the airport. I think my mom sensed how unhappy I was or how unhappy I would be so she said that we would go to Makati after. Despite the fact that my dad was leaving, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of joy. Bad, I know. We ate merienda and the Chocolate Oreo Cheesecake in McCafe is not that mouth-watering. Looks can be really deceiving. My mom and uncle went on their own, and so did I. I saw these lovely pants from People are People. They were those that flow around your legs. As beautiful and perfect it seemed, it was, unfortunately loose. :( Made me feel annoyed again at my body. Then I went to a few stores here and there. A new shop opened. Flip-flops. That's the name and it's true. Flip flops heaven. It opened yesterday and they had to put this barrier to stop people from entering because their place was small to accommodate the number of people, mostly girls who were excited to go and empty their wallets.
I do not claim to have a great fashion sense. Far from it. I wear what I'm comfortable with. There are only times that I exchange looks with comfort. Anyway, I saw AC people again. Topshop seems to be a meeting place for AC peeps. Haha! ^_^ I saw Mela (StD) and Christine. It's funny. It's like we're all independent now, which is the case I guess. It's like before, we're tagging along our moms after class to go to the mall and shop. Now, we're on our own, shopping on our own. All I need now is my very own credit card. Haha!
Rica and I were both reminiscing last night. Our conversations ranged from her problems to sexuality to my problems to games to kraci outings to birthdays to drinking to hyperness to music to food to gigs to lines until we started to reminisce things. Haha. English lit. Macbeth. Ms. Acero. Les Mis. Pintasayawit. Rica's evil look as she says her lines. Lady Macbeth's unsex me here" line that me got the "Most Lady Macbeth-ish" award. CR incident. Jealous girls. Baon. Siomai. Flavored water. Bugz and Angel's jelly tongue. Frozen chocolate, frozen mango and frozen ice tea. Strawberry shake. Jamaican patty. Mango crepe. Fruit shakes. The bread with pesto and cheese filling inside and tomato sauce that they sell during intrams and fairs. Eat in the canteen. Fooling around. Running around the oval. Playing at the patch of grass. Skyway. Tambay on the benches. Tambay sa school bus. Bean bag. Coffee house. Skyflakes that find their way around the classroom. Tempura. Tonkatsu. Peanuts. Popcorn. Cheese sticks. Yellow cab and McDo deliveries during practices. Puto and kutchinta in the brown paper bag. Sashimi of Wei. Sta's porkchop baon. My lemon squares daw. Rica's chicken popcorn with Caesar dressing. Chess and her canteen food. Angel's dessert trips with Ruby and Lum. PDA moments. Haha! Munchkins and donuts after class. Taho and dirty ice cream sa gate 3. Manang guard na tinatakasan. Snowcone (?). Free milo and Assumption tarts. Takas during practices. Mrs. Eala's fury. After-practice incident. Bataille. Rica's tough battle. Me and my long nails. 3 against 1. The triumvirate. Morning assembles. MPH. Late. Cold computer room. New chairs. New pcs. Angel's hanger. Computer teachers who let us do illegal stuff and those who shout. Feeling music teachers and the Herculean woman. Dami pala.
Three's a crowd. I think that phrase says it all. It's funny how one thinks they're the third wheel, while the other people also think that way. Haha!
I cleaned my room when I arrived at the apartment. I just organized all the handouts I had. In a few months time, I would be compiling them again as the first semester ends. But I don't want this sem to end, not yet. But what am I saying? We're still in the middle of the sem; no need to rush.
"...When you close your eyes do you like what you see inside your mind? And do you like to dream about the stars above once in a while?" - Once in a while by Dishwalla
posted by Chill at
7:34 PM
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