Of...nothingness ^_^

"...There's so much more to me than meets the eye. In this life I know one thing...It doesn't really matter what you wear let the people stare cuz we are who we are who we are who we are. It doesn't really matter what car you drive. It's good to be alive. Yeah we are who we are who we are who we are. Who we are..." - Who We Are by Hope Partlow (hindi naman obvious na yun yung title dba? haha! ^_^)

"Under the facade of goodness, lies a claustrophobic nastiness." Ha! Interesting right? I saw it written in a scratch paper and I remember Sta showing it to me from a book. What book? I have no idea. I'm not plagiarizing; I'm not claiming ownership of it. Anyway, isn't it cool how it was phrased? Your nastiness is being supressed, hence the word 'claustrophobic.' I rather think that everyone is this way. We contain the nastiness inside, because we do all have that side. Let me see you deny it.

I'm currently in love with the rendition of Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson. Not much of the lyrics but of the melody and the accompaniment of the piano. Okay, maybe the lyrics had some effect, but I love how the piano was played, added to that, Clarkson's voice.

I am greatly saddened. It's inevitable. I will really move out. :( Next year is the soonest that I know of. My papa even sought the help of my aunt (or maybe it was the other way around) in locating a university in Italy. Her husband is a "master of economics," whatever that means, from Pavia University, wherever that is. They are now eyeing University of Lucca in Tuscany. May I remind you that Tuscany is a province and it's miles away from Rome or Milan or any huge city? There, just so you know. I'll be isolated. Well, not really, there are the trains going almost everywhere, but still, living in a city and province is different. It's not that I cringe from change...Okay, fine, maybe I do. Here I am, living a comfortable life and surrounded with great friends. Moving to a place where I am more or less physically different, language incompetent and no friends or no one that I know scares the shit out of me. Truly it does. I thought that they had forgotten about the matter, allowing me to finish my 4 years of college in Ateneo, but I guess I was mistaken. I expected too much; I was too hopeful. Maybe for them, not talking about it doesn't mean that it's out of the question, but it's there, constantly lingering. But who knows, right? They haven't put down their foot. I still need to get, as my papa said, "good results for the first semester in order to facilitate a transfer to a good university in Italy." How formal and cool he sounds. But, I know he understands for he himself had to transfer from Italy to Hong Kong with no background on the language, and alone too. But still...If he does understand, then why? If it does push through though, I'll be the fourth KRACI who'll leave...It's saddening how our barkada is really gonna be scattered around the globe.

That, for the most part is the most depressing news.

Suddenly, I have not much to say.

We would all reach a point when we ask ourselves, will this truly make me happy? If it was, is this the right decision to make? Then now, it's looking more into the future. Okay, the latter question is what we would constantly ask ourselves. Decisions, decisions, decisions, why do we constantly have to decide?

I had two lunches today. Haha, pigging out again? Nah, it's too soon for that reason, but I suddenly felt hungry, as if I didn't eat the whole day. Maybe this time, I'm beginning to be serious about getting some fat in my body. Not that I don't, I have, duh, but it's not enough.

It's ridiculous how quickly prices have increased. It was only yesterday that we ate at Max and their basic meal cost P110. Today, when we ate there again, it was now P116! And in only less than a day! Is it the E-VAT that they only implemented now? Sheesh!

There were 2-3 rows of Victoria Holt/Jean Plaidy/Philippa Carr (yes, they are just one authoress) books in the library! Wow. That shows just how old the library is. Haha! She is one of my favorite authors. Her books may reiterate their plots but I can't get tired of it because it is the context of the story that makes everything interesting. It is history, real history that the characters are plunged into. Her protagonists are women, and the situation is seen from their points of view. It is written in the first POV, but for Philippa Carr and Jean Plaidy, some of them are written in the omniscient view. The latter's main characters are queens, duchesses, women of royalty, while for the former, she writes about women and their succeeding generations. Too bad that I have read most of the books in the library written by Victoria Holt; I guess I'll now shift to her other pseudonyms.