Secrets will always be secrets

Technically, this entry should be for the 27th since it would be September 27 in just 5 minutes, but what the heck, I'm not playing with time here. I haven't blogged for a few days mainly for two reasons. First that I have died and this is my ghost typing and secondly, I clearly have no more reasons to blog. Just kidding. I'm feeling particularly morbid at the minute. I wasn't able to blog because my laptop, my beautiful, trustworthy-laptop-that-wouldn't-fail-on-me has done exactly the opposite: failed on me. It bugged down, typically, having the same problem as before. I'm beginning to think that the technicians are doing this on purpose so that we would keep on coming back for repairs. Hmm…scheming people. But I may never know if that really was their intention. Secondly, I was sick. I should have realized it when I had that splitting headache last Friday. Well, I went home Sunday morning and I felt the full blast of having a cold, so I opted to cut two classes today to stay home. I had 11 hours of sleep which I think was more than good enough for "rest."

Nothing much to blog that would not touch on people.

Gin dearest, I would be copying something from your newest blog, I hope you don't mind. It just hit me, like a volleyball coming out of nowhere.

Why secrets are and will always be secrets. There are things that people just can't share with other people. It kills them to keep it in, but you know if you told someone you would feel weaker. By saying them, it can be more hurtful to you. Because it shouldn't have been thought of in the first place. Does that make sense? Right now, it's what I have. It's just thoughts. But if I say it, it becomes real. Something that can hurt me even more than it may now.
Are you following?
I'm in that place. I don't want to be weak... I don't want to acknowledge this downfall of mine. I need to tell someone but there's no one I can tell. No one. People wouldn't understand. Even I don't understand.

Of course I feel that way. We all do, in some way, in some time or another. I do dislike being vulnerable. Truly dislike it. That's why all these walls have been built up to keep exactly that out.

I had an interesting conversation (well, more like one-sided conversation) with one of my best friends that got me thinking. But...funny, all my thoughts seem to have gone, just like the rain that suddenly fell out of nowhere and is now nowhere to be heard, seen nor felt. It's sometimes annoying how thoughts can be so slippery. They're there one minute, the next gone. *sigh*

I'm supposed to be doing a power point presentation, one thought paper, read eco and read for Pysch but...sandman is slowly approaching and lazy fairy has already visited me. Haha.

*yawns*